In my 27 years of living, I’ve endured plenty of toxic relationships.
I’ve thrived on the idea on “meaning something” to someone and I’m also guilty of searching for love in all the wrong places. But, as some of the wisest saints say, wisdom comes with age. Each situation taught me specific lessons that were necessary for my personal development. Back in my early 20s, I could care less about the what others thought about my relationships and their own outrageous opinions didn’t ruffle my feathers; however, I soon realized that even a couple enlightened words can pack a mighty punch.
Now that I’m off my soapbox, I’m here to tell you one thing: There is strength in finding the will to remove yourself from negative relationships. I know it can be easy to settle for idea of ease and comfort but you have to reach deep within and garner any type of will power to bring yourself to understand that the moves you are making are for your betterment and continued success. My grandmother always told me,, “If you lay down with dogs, you’ll get fleas.” And, it’s stuck with me ever since.
With that, I’ve created a brief list that will assist in giving you the confidence to say “no” to those whose primary objective is to hold you back.
Let’s get to it!
1) Pray about the situation.
Prayer is my go-to move for everything! Whether I’m stressing out about work or going through the motions with my family, I always turn to God in times of need. The power of prayer is unparalleled and it’s a therapeutic way to cope with life’s most unfortunate instances. I admit, terminating relationships is a tough step forward but it is a crucial for your progression; otherwise, you’ll remain stagnant. I don’t pray to ask for a miraculous outcome but I inquire for strength and understanding. Prayer is the foundation for which my life is based and it’s never failed me. Trust me, it works!
2) Seperate yourself.
This is the hard part! If you’re anything like me, old habits die hard. And, if you’ve invested so much time and energy into a relationship, it can be challenging to just throw it to the wind. Yet, you must keep your overall goal in full view. There has to be a sense of purpose within the separation; therefore, the distance and time is absolutely necessary. Trust me!
3) Focus on your lifelong aspirations, hobbies and goals.
Embrace this new situation by keeping yourself busy with other hobbies. If you’ve been dying to visit a new museum or itching to travel to another country, do it! Now that you’ve released the extra weight, this is your time to shine! So, attend those weekend brunch networking events, grace that local fashion show, take in a concert, go for a walk, start that blog, write that book… I mean, I could go on and on! The possibilities are endless. Whatever you choose to do, just be certain that you are pursuing it for your own satisfaction and no one else.
4) Grow from the experience.
In the end, growth is the overall goal. You’re taking a negative situation and using it to your advantage, in terms of progressing your own dreams and aspirations. Don’t look at the failed relationship as a burden but, instead, view it as a lesson that has assisted in providing you the necessary tools to move forward with your life. In other words, don’t put a period where God has placed a comma…
And, that’s about it!
Now, go forth and conquer those toxic relationships. It’s your time to shine and you don’t need anyone trying to rain on your parade!
Ankara Jacket: Tribes of Dumo | Jeans: Old Navy | Sandals: Zara | Earrings: Remix Fashion | Sunnies: Ray Ban