F*ck Your Pride: When Standards (in Love) Fall Short

Every millennial woman was once guilty of having “the list”…

Yep, the dreaded list of must-haves that her Prince Charming must obtain before even thinking about asking for her hand in marriage. Some women want a man who absolutely must have a bachelor’s degree, other women want a man who stands nothing shorter than 6 foot 2 inches and then are the real MVPs who ask that a man make a six-figure salary, own five homes and have no excess baggage (all by the time he’s 25). When, in actuality, they themselves aren’t even that far along in life…

I’ve watched my girlfriends go on and on about how men aren’t able to support them financially but, when they come across an outstanding guy who waits on them hand and foot, they immediately label him as “soft” or “not good enough”. It’s crazy! I mean, how can this percentage of women be so judgmental when it comes to finding a dedicated soulmate? There have been occasions where I have wanted to scream out, “F*ck your pride!” This is 2017 and everyone is struggling in their own way – yes, that new guy in the accounting department may look appealing when you both cross paths at the office cafeteria (and his effortlessly tailored, straight leg suits may leave you breathless, lol) , but you never can tell what a person is going through until you actually sit down and chop it up with them.

I see it this way: God places people in your life for a reason. Their time with you may only be for a season or, perhaps, they may be a lifetime blessing; however, the fact that spousal standards are so materialistic and dense causes me to question the priorities of today’s daters. Instead of treasuring and nurturing a genuine connection, we rest our beliefs on the notion that possessions are symbols of lasting accomplishments. Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but they’re not. Your potential partner may be “lacking” in an area that you feel is pertinent but he may blow your mind in ways you never even pondered.

In the past, I’ve been in relationships where my significant other had it all. The looks, the home, the income, the charisma, multiple degrees… And, he cheated on me. With a classmate, to be exact. He was controlling, highly impulsive and challenged me at every whim. While I was crushed by this experience, it also opened my eyes to a new outlook on dating. I didn’t want to be that woman who was happy enduring the exuberant lifestyle of a failing relationship. Best believe, I thought my standards were impenetrable but, for every “list” that’s created, there are men out there who match up perfectly. Then, on the other hand, there are men who will never be given a fair chance just because their bank account skimps out on the commas.

Now, I’m not saying go out there and just overturn every ounce of morale you may possess; yet, all I’m asking is that you look beyond what you “think” is necessary. The love of your life may not have a Ph.D nor may he have a squeaky clean persona but, always keep in mind, we are all human. If he treats you like the Queen you are, love him wholeheartedly. Don’t diminish his chances by belittling his abilities as a man, love fearlessly! You never know, you may miss out on the very gift that is the answer to your prayers.

Photo Featured: I do not own the rights to the featured photograph.



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Writer. Fashion Enthusiast. Dopeness Curator.

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