So, You’re in Your 30’s… Now What?

When I turned 30, I froze. Society told me that, according to its standards, I should be married with children, living in my own home, working a highly-lucrative job with a flourishing bank account while taking endless trips across the globe.

… that was not my reality.

When I turned 30, I was unmarried with zero children. I was knee-deep in debt and I did not own a home. I worked a full-time job that drained every ounce of mental, physical and spiritual energy. And, my globetrotting days were severely numbered. I felt trapped. I felt unfulfilled. I felt like a failure. As my 30’s progressed, I unearthed the conclusion that my stigma associated with aging was the result of my own self-conscious thoughts. I battled with views of my own self-worth, while constantly questioning whether or not I was on the right track. After months of prayer and words of encouragement from my tribe, I realized that my life’s measure was not personified by mere “accomplishments”, but by my ability to fully live the life that I wanted to manifest. I had to come to terms that, on paper, many of those standards looked pretty impressive. Yet, in actuality, I questioned if I wanted any of them.

My 30’s have undoubtedly surpassed my 20’s. My mind is clearer. My patience is longer. My aura is peaceful. My faith is evolving. My body is the ultimate canvas. My ongoing voyage of self-love, self-realization and growth have impacted the way I conquer each passing day and how I can continue to mold my ideal future. I refuse to be coerced to “get shit done”, from others who don’t even have their shit together. Think beyond the hype. What is it that you want to achieve as an individual? Those houses, those kids and those picture-perfect marriages look great on Instagram, but baby, the backstories may not be as glamorous.

While we’re all living in this dystopian reality show of a world, contemplating the next steps of our lives, let’s keep in mind the bigger picture. Life is fleeting. Time is swift. My grandmother always told me, “People will talk about you until the day you die, you can’t be bothered with what they think about you.” Let’s not concern ourselves with the opinions of others, especially when it comes to aging. Transform the narrative of growing older into a beautiful transition of wisdom, elegance and refinement. Keep the same energy as Cicely Tyson, Angela Bassett, First Lady Michelle Obama and Lisa Bonet… turn those two numbers on their head and create your own manifesto for womanhood. Define your own reality and hold the world captive as they bear witness to your ascent.

Don’t view entering any new decade of your life as a shortcoming. Whether it’s your 30’s, 40’s, 50’s or 60’s, slip into a new attitude and welcome a groundbreaking shift within your universe. Drink tons of water. Stay unproblematic. Love harder, keep setting goals, live without apologies and understand that your path is especially for you. Become a beacon of hope for the upcoming generations. Practice positive manifestation. Always keep in mind: age is just a number, but your legacy is forever.

“There is a fountain of youth; it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you have learned to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”

-Sophia Loren

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