Disclaimer: If your name is featured below, it is purely coincidence. This article is not meant to step on any toes, it is merely a pub for entertainment and my personal attempt at being relatable with my audience. The characters are women because I have, personally, experienced these types of women within my own prior support systems. Again, please do not jump down my throat. Thanks!
Your tribe is your wealth. Just like your health, just like your faith. People who you surround yourself with matters on so many levels. Growing up, I was taught that your “friends” are reflections of yourself. And, I truly believe that no truer words have been spoken.
This post is not to bash anyone. This post is not meant to condone the total wipeout of your friend pool, but my only hope is to shed some light on different types of women who I have had the distinct pleasure of crossing paths with. In making their acquaintance, I’ve also learned that they should not be part of my progress. Yeah, it’s harsh, but it’s necessary. Keep reading to find out why I plan to steer clear of these particular types of women!
#1: The Negative Nancy
First up, we have Negative Nancy. Negative Nancy is the “friend” who never has anything nice to say. She’s the judge and the damn jury. In her mind, whatever she says goes, and her negativity is self-perceived as her having an “opinion”. Now, Negative Nancies are special; they possess zero fucks.
No matter how positive the situation, they always find light within the negative. The problem with these types are that they dampen your own personal progress – telling you that starting that business is a farce, faulting you for dating a man who doesn’t have it all, creating arguments from the most simple aspects of life… shall I go on? These types of women can never be happy for the success of another, they feed on the idea that failure is always triumphant and their own lives are mere products of their poor moral compasses. Watch out, sometimes they travel in packs.
#2: The Toxic Tanya
Toxic Tanya is an elevated Negative Nancy, this woman’s negativity is personified through toxicity. While Negative Nancy can appear to be all talk, Toxic Tanya is the one who actually makes ish happen! This is the homegirl who picks a whole fight, after starting an argument with a total stranger, eventually pulling you into the mix of it all. Ya see what I did there?! Although her negativity is a given, the fact that she acts out (and actually brings you along for the ride) is what makes her so detrimental.
Toxic Tanyas also possess poor decision-making skills, short tempers and these attributes do have distinct effects on those who surround them. Some may say Toxic Tanyas can come off as “angry”, but it’s deeper than mere aggression. Some may peg this type as bitter, while others may coin them as “problematic”. Another thing to look out for: Toxic Tanya’s ability to manipulate a variety of situations to create a stage for her innate ability to become “the victim”.
#3: The Stagnant Sue
In life, we all want to push forward and elevate. Whether it’s in our jobs, in our finances, or even in our personal lives. As human beings, many of us want to upgrade and become better versions of ourselves. But, Stagnant Sue is the total opposite.
Stagnant Sue finds satisfaction in achieving the bare minimum. Stagnant Sue finds pleasure in riding on the coattails of others, without having to lift a finger to help pull her own self up. Let me tell you, having people who are simply around for the ride, deters you from being able to focus on your own ascent – I have to worry (not only about myself) but about how those around me are responding. For my go-getters who want to level up, avoid Stagnant Sues. You are your only competition. If a person does not possess the willingness to want to better themselves, I just can’t call them a friend. No friend of mine should be okay with being in one spot for their entire life. I want a tribe whose willing to go above and beyond the standard, not a roster of players merely trying to conform to what is average.
#4: The Karen
And, last but certainly not least, we have Karen. Karen is a combination of all the aforementioned names: the Negative Nancy, the Toxic Tanya, and the Stagnant Sue. Karen is the entire package, and it will take a bit more to unpack her characteristics versus the previous types. With a personality so complex, Karen struggles with living a stagnant lifestyle coupled with toxic behaviors and an ongoing negative mindset. Karens are a bit more difficult to spot, as they are so complex. Yet, I find that intuition and overall vetting works with discovering which of your acquaintances could possibly fall into this intriguing category. If you need anymore validation, Karens are plastered all over social media, the internet and even your local grocery store. To my experience, these are the worst types. Not only do they possess a certain level of “privilege”, but they also use their advantages to work against those who may anger or frustrate them. Stay cautious, my friends!
Whew! Well, there ya have it. I hope this post was received from a place of humor, love and an open mind. My goal with this is to simply allow people to see that things are just not what they may seem. People may present a certain way to you, but you’ve got to look deeper than just the physical. Eyebrows, lashes and wigs are a front for what is hidden beneath. Let’s take some time to see actual people (especially those we call “friends”) for what they really are. My experience has been personal, but I pray that it hasn’t been so unique that no one else can relate. Thank you so much for reading. Until next time…
“If you lay down with dogs, you wake up with fleas.”
-Essie Lee Campbell