There’s an epidemic within the Black community. Bonnets have taken over. And, I’m not speaking in the literal sense of sistahs actually donning their bonnets during their weekly grocery run – no, I’m also referring to the mentality that comes along with it.
No lie: I’ve seen grown women walk into malls, corporate offices, schools, gas stations, car dealerships, and even a law office wearing a damn bonnet. But, what got me, was when I started to see older Black women (with young girls under the age of ten), also rocking their bonnets in public spaces. Bonnets are just the tipping point – let’s not forget about full on pajamas, see-through “tights” and the occasional moo-moo.
Growing up, my grandmother would have chewed me out from here to Timbuktu, if I left the house wearing the same bonnet (and sleepwear) I wore to bed the prior night! Let alone, “clean” options. My elders taught me that first impressions matter. First impressions are lasting impressions. Once you make an imprint on a complete stranger, that image never fades. I’ve carried this into my adult life and I live by the creed of putting forth my best appearance on a daily basis.
The problem I’m noticing with today’s generation, is that they have no “elders” to flock to for this type of knowledge. The “elders” are the primary reasons why such an atrocious habit is being passed down. You can’t tell tell elders anything because they know it all. And, any type of contrasting opinion is dubbed as “disrespect” or “shade”. It’s sickening.
Sistahs, it doesn’t take much. Trust me. You drop a fortune to get your hair laid, you dish out copious amounts of money to get your lashes done and let’s not forget to mention the nails and toes – why are you going to top all that off with a bonnet? If you’re devoting so much time and effort into becoming a “baddie”, dedicate to it fully. Don’t let your Baddie Flag fly only at Sunday brunch, the local club or your homegirl’s party. Commit, sis. Commit.
My biggest fear is how this lack of decorum effects the overall image of Black women. We are more than just how we look, but let’s face it, appearance matters in this day and age. We, as a people, can do so much better. We are totally capable of doing better, but there has to be an acknowledgment and a willingness to want to change. In my opinion, that is where the issue lies. We have so many Black women who will argue their right to wear anything they please and will also counter with the phrase, “How does my wearing a bonnet in public affect you?” All of these responses hold significant weight, but they all have one common thread: pride.
Sis, it’s not about you – it’s about the culture. It’s about how we as a people are perceived. Black women are so quick to exclaim how they are “bosses” and “queens”, but is wearing a bonnet is public becoming of a boss or a queen? I think not. Simply take accountability for your actions, alter the negative behavior and elevate. Plain and simple. I’m over this whole idea of standing by and watching. If you want better outcomes in your life, do better. Step one: lose the bonnet, reserve it for the bounds of your home. Let’s start the conversation.
Photo Credit: Pinterest via the link here.
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4 thoughts on “Sis, Lose the Bonnet!”
My curls are TIGHT, ok, so I understand not wanting to “deal” every time you leave the house, but uhm.. there are a LOT of beautiful head wraps, hats, headbands, etc to assist. I don’t even own a bonnet because i never wanna be caught in one!
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Yes! I own so many cute headwraps and hair accessories! It can be done. I just had to get my thoughts out because… *deep sigh*… this is TOO much, sis. Thank you so much for reading 🙂
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Oop! I’m a bonnet wearer! And I dress based on my mental and my mood. Now let me say that I don’t wear them to church, work, etc. Most of the time it’s in my leisure. When I’m traveling (airport and road trips) or when I’m running errands and the weather is supposed to be bad. But my issues is the stigma or what someone can or can not wear! Absolutely Grandmother and Mama don’t agree with it but it’s not that time anymore. I feel like it’s soooooo much more and mucccchhhh bigger issues to worry about than what someone has chosen to wear on their heads that day. I’m not one that cares much about how people perceive me but what about those who do. #GreatDebates #GreatConversationalPiece Good job Cousin!!! I’m super proud of you!!! 🤎🤎🤎
I get it. I wear a bonnet at home and in my bed. I’m natural.. I can’t escape it. Lol! But, a certain level of decorum has to be acknowledged. Times have certainly changed and there are more pressing issues, but you have to start small. I thanks appreciate your feedback and thanks for reading! ❤