Rules of Engagement: Confessions of an Unbothered Fiancée 

My fiancé proposed on January 6, 2022. On my birthday, during Capricorn season.

After the intimate gesture, I was thrust into this natural high of fascinating possibilities and life was a dream. I welcomed the ongoing congratulations, well-wishes and sudden gasps of wonder (in those little moments where I would happily flash my left ring finger).

It’s six months later.

And, I’m still in that Cloud 9 elation squad. Buuuuut, since becoming engaged, noticing how other people respond has become somewhat of a subdued (yet intriguing) interest. Not sure if it’s my inner psych buff or the innate ability to read other’s energy, but you learn a heck of a lot about who is genuinely a source of support for you and your partner, after you get engaged.

Let’s start from the top…

Wedding planning is pretty pricey. Aside from trying to maintain everyday (by paying bills and keeping gas in your vehicle), let’s not forget that the United States is currently enduring a phase of recession. Inflation is real and these wedding venues/planners are knocking folks over the head with $20,000 to $50,000 reception fees. After visiting two potential venues, the husband-to-be and I understand why couples take detours to their local courthouse.

In addition to the painful cost, the input of others is also a little alarming. You ever had someone try and plan your own wedding. They ask the first harmless questions: “When is the wedding?” and “What venues are you looking into?” Then, the conversation eventually starts to shift into, “I can see you doing this...”, “So and so would look so good on you!“, “Your colors should be…” and “Don’t forget my invite!” (Uhhh.. who said you were invited?) Afterwards, they disappear into the wind. Never to be heard from again.

I haven’t even started dress shopping. And, even more, the wedding party stands pending.

Dress and sandals: Zara; Basket purse: Marshalls

Although I’ve ranted the past couple points, just know, I am beyond excited about this next phase in my life. The man I plan to marry is kind, compassionate, God-fearing and the answer to all of my prayers; however, I want to emphasize the importance of maintaining your mental and emotional health during such a chaotic time.

Keep it simple and realize you cannot involve everyone, and you cannot please everyone. Be selective in your decision to disclose your engagement. Be even more be selective with whom you want to include in your wedding party (if you plan to have one). This day is about YOU and YOUR PARTNER. Take your time and the world will fall in line.

As I continue to move forward with planning, my mindset is focused on ensuring that my fiancé and I are happy. That’s it. Whether we decide to make it a destination wedding or go all out for full glitz and glam, we are going to do what is in our hearts. Don’t allow others to speak over your blessing; their words will not always be fruitful.

Check on your engaged friends, y’all!

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Writer. Fashion Enthusiast. Dopeness Curator.

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